I never thought I had a problem with discontentment. I love my life. I love being grafted into the vine, a daughter of the King, I love knowing where I will spend my eternity. But when faced with the question of “Am I content with ‘just Jesus’?” I find myself thinking that perhaps I haven’t been. I feel that I have been placing so many idols before Him, the author and perfector of my faith! I haven’t spent the time with the Lord that I so desperately need to be alive, fully alive! I have allowed the evil one to pull me away, to think that the “things” of this world can truly satisfy. I know this is a lie, but yet I have been deceiving myself.
So what changed, what made me realize that I wasn’t really trusting in the Lord for my happiness and contentment? Well, a few things culminating with one potential life change that the Lord chose to shut the door on, at least for right now. The women in my Bible study at church have really helped me to see my disobedience for what it is: rebelling against a Holy God. I need to come to the foot of the cross daily and confess my sins, repent of my sins, walk AWAY from my sins! We, as believers in the only One who can truly satisfy, have to search our hearts daily. For me, sometimes this is moment by moment searching, asking God to help me turn from worldly “virtues” and bask at the throne of God, putting on His righteousness because of the work of Jesus at the cross. When, and only when, we meditate on what Jesus did for us by daily going to the cross, can we hope to put on the godly virtues of peace, contentment, joy, happiness, patience, self control, love, kindness, faithfulness, goodness.
I am thankful to the Lord for the people He has placed in my life: my husband, my children, my friends, my church community. You all will never fully know how you have impacted me for the Kingdom.
Psalm 23:1 The LORD is my Shepard, I shall not want.