So I don’t even know where to begin. My journey into blogging is going ok, haven’t been able to do it as much as I want but it is on my heart and I am constantly writing new posts in my mind! God is definitely at work on me, as well as the enemy. This morning was proof positive that I need to keep my mind focused on God’s Word and not my own failings. I am truly nothing without Him, and I am so glad that I am His workmanship. I am begging the Lord to draw near to me every day because I have never realized how dependent upon Him I am. Because of this, I can feel the enemy’s attacks even more.
Although, how much of it is the enemy and how much of it is just my own sin trying to rise up within me and beat me over the head to remind me of all of my failures, past, present and future ones to come. Jeff and I watched Facing the Giants last night. He wanted to watch some good, wholesome family TV and I am so glad that he was led to put that in. I was truly moved at how far I have come in my walk with God, and reminded of where I was. If you haven’t seen that movie, go rent it, or better yet go buy it! It’s made by the Kendrick brothers who also made Fireproof. Honestly, I like FTG even better. The tears were rolling almost constantly, as I could easily input myself into that movie in so many different character’s spots. I have been the woman who has been torn by infertility and desiring to have a child so badly that you can think of nothing else but taking pregnancy tests every month hoping for that ever elusive positive. I have been the coach, riddled with self-doubt and loathing. I have been the football players, cold and hard-hearted. I desire to be the Mr. Bridges character, led by God to pray for others and to share God’s Word whenever He puts it on my heart to do so, never knowing how God is using that in someone else’s life. I desire to be the coach who repurposes his life for God and wants nothing more than to give God the glory for everything – praise Him when you win and praise Him when you lose!!! I desire to be the woman who says yes Lord I will praise you even if you don’t give me my heart’s desire and what I thought was Your plan for my life. I will love you Lord even if you take away everything you have given me, because like Job there is no reason to curse You. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the LORD!
Please Lord, make me more tenderhearted and meek, sharing Your presence with everyone I come into contact with. Help me Lord to put off the old man and put on the new. I am so thankful that I am in the Potter’s Hands… are you?